


Batteries Not Included

by eilonwe



Series: Something Real [2]
Category: Dir en grey
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:19:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilonwe/pseuds/eilonwe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "The Real Thing"  </p><p>Shinya makes a huge mistake and tries to make up for it.  He learns that the best things in life don't come with batteries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Batteries Not Included

BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED

There had been 3 lives left in the tour when Die had made love to him so nicely.  He’d kissed the redhead sleepily in the morning and had snuck back to his room, asking Die to keep things quiet for now.  Die had looked hurt, but he’d let him go with a quiet reminder that he loved him and that he was there for him.  The declaration made him flushed, he didn’t know how to react to that.  The band-members were as essential to him as food and air.  They held stronger ties to his heart than his own family, who often ignored him, and they were the strongest friends he had.  Even so, a part of him had never really let them know how much he needed and depended upon them.  How alone he’d be without them. How much they kept him sane with their own brand of insanity.  Until now, until last night, Die hadn’t really stood out to him.  Or so he’d thought.  Now that he actuality thought about it, Die was the easiest to talk to. Die was the one he confided with and sought first when he wanted to hang out with someone.  He always went to Die. 

So maybe Die _did_ mean more to him than the others, but he wasn’t sure he could call it love.  Not the way Die said it.  The way Die said it made him feel all warm and tingly, and his heart did little flips in his chest making him short of breath. He thought about how good it felt for Die to touch him. Oh how he touched him, all nice and gently setting his skin aflame.  His whispered words of encouragement making him feel accomplished when they offered praise and made him feel warm all over.  Oh but that couldn’t compare to the way it felt as Die worked the toy inside him, his whispered words and gentle touches relaxing him, filling him up inside with more than just that toy.  That had been amazing.  The real thing had been even better.  Even now he felt empty again, no toy, no Die deep deep inside him.

Shinya sighed and took a shower getting ready for the day.  Die had sent him back to his room with his toys.   Toys were nice.  They were really too busy that day to spend even a minute alone together and so Shinya had spent the time while practicing the songs to let his mind wander as he tried to process the fact he’d had sex with Die.  Mmm, no doubt it had been wonderful.  Something he definitely wanted more of.  But then he tried to picture having sex with any of the other band members.  Nothing.  With any other man, period.  Nothing. Tried to picture having sex with a woman.  The kind he liked, petite and big breasted with a firm ass. Definitely something.  Then his mind traveled back toward Die.  Not so much his physical features, but his voice, the way he’d touched him, the heat of shaft as he pushed slowly inside.  Oh hell yeah, more than just _something_.  So what did that mean?  He didn’t know. 

The live was as energetic as always, but he still hadn’t processed what had happened so he had avoided Die, heading straight for his own room where he quickly took a shower and splayed himself across his bed cooling off.  His gaze strayed to the two toys and his body reminded him that he felt empty and that he’d be downright neglectful if he let those hard won batteries go to waste.  Getting up he filled the ice bucket with hot water and dropped the tube of lube into it, laying down a towel before getting the items close to hand.  Holding in his own hand made the plug look so much bigger than it had in the box.  He couldn’t believe it could fit.  But it had, and it had felt so good.  He’d been a bit tender today, but the tenderness only made him more aware, especially of how nice it felt when the string of his thong rubbed across it. 

His body was eager for the pleasure he’d been used to giving it.  He poured a generous amount of lube on the plug and slicked it up, smearing the excess in his crease as he laid on his side, that angle making it easier to play with himself.  He turned on the vibrations and teased his entrance with the tip. The area was tender but eager to be filled once again so he gently advanced the toy.  Taking it in bits, unaware he was whispering to himself the same encouragements Die had, almost word for word the night before.  When at last it was seated, he found himself grinding his hips slowly and clenching around it.  _“Nice, so nice. Full. Hard._ ” He whispered to himself.  He turned the other toy on and began running it over his skin, soft gentle vibrations.  He laid the vibrator on his nipple there until the feeling got so intense he cried out softly, whispering encouragements to himself the way Die had done. Laying the tip against the other nipple, “yes, yes, feels so good doesn’t it?  It’s getting intense but you can take it. Come on, just a little more, you can cum if you just hold it …. A …. Few… more… seconds!  Ah Die!”  He cried out as the feeling in his nipple became so intense, combined with his the words he imagined Die saying to him the combination making him lose his load all over the towel in a terrible shudder.  Shinya reached behind himself and turned off the vibrations but didn’t remove the plug.  He turned off the other toy and waddled into the bathroom to toss away the dirty towel and take another shower.  Surprised at his reflection, wanton. Needy.  Nipples erect, his abdominals quivering even as his cock remained half-mast.  “I look debauched.”  He said softly. 

The fullness of the toy subsided a little as he washed, moaning a little as his hand nudged the base while washing himself.  He allowed his soapy fingers to play and tease gently where his entrance puckered like tight lips around the base of the toy.  That would never stop feeling nice.  He fell asleep with the toy still inside him.  Waking to the feel of fullness only made his morning masturbation session even more relaxing, but then he reluctantly took it out.  No way could he contemplate actually wearing it under his clothes. 

Another day and a cramped bus ride.  He had planned on sitting near Die like he always did, but Die had claimed the captain’s chair up near the driver.  Disappointed, he ended up sitting near Karou.  They hadn’t even gone to the hotel first, but straight to the venue.  Tired from the bus ride already, he’d given his all to the live and by the time it was over he could barely stand up straight.  Kyo had claimed Die before he could talk to him and Karou had led him staggering to his room.  Shinya hadn’t even had the energy to truly masturbate, he’d just inserted the plug and fell asleep with the vibrations teasing him. 

It was a sad sad day to wake up feeling nice and full and then realize the batteries were dead.  He looked longingly at both toys and then decided that he liked the plug best, so he sacrificed the other toy’s batteries to the cause.  They’d actually had the chance to eat breakfast together as a band and Shinya was shocked by Die’s appearance. He looked like he didn’t feel well.  Shinya tried to ask him what was wrong but he’d just thrown something at him and stomped off.  Kyo picked up the fallen object and handed it to him.  It was a small package of triple A batteries.  “Something we need to know about?”  Shinya shook his head as tears began to well up.  He left the table before anyone could see them fall. 

He felt so horrible as realization of what he’d done struck him hard.  He’d hurt Die.  He’d ignored him that next day completely, as if he was ashamed of what they’d done and that had to have hurt like a kick to the nuts.  Especially following Die’s declaration of love.  Which he hadn’t returned. And he wasn’t ashamed just very confused. He knew he had to find some way to make it up to him.  But how?  Shinya cried in his room for an hour and by the time Kyo came to take them out so they could scope out the venue, his eyes were so red he’d had to wear sunglasses, little sniffles and hitches of breath still plaguing him over the next hour. He’d always been one to sob like a child. 

For once Kyo was quiet, making no comments about the sunglasses or his sniffles which was a monumental show of restraint.  It made him feel better.  Finally he was allowed to go back to his room and so he did.  He sat there trying to figure out what to do.  Tonight was the final and it was a really important show.  Kyo had only told him to go take a nap when they returned from the venue, wanting everyone fresh and ready to kick ass.  He played with his toy, rolling the bulbous plug in his palms as he let himself really think about what was going on.  It had felt so _nice_ to be with Die.  And if it was _okay_ to play with himself back there, why wouldn’t it be okay if he played with Die?  If it was Die making him feel that good?  _Because it was okay._   He smiled when he thought of that.  Yes, it was quite nice to be loved and touched and _filled_ by Die and he missed that.  Die had given him what batteries couldn’t.  He’d filled that empty place inside his heart even as he’d filled his body near bursting with his flesh.  And now he felt like all of it had come leaking back out because the cork had been unplugged.  He needed to be filled again.  Looking at the plug again an idea began to form in his head. 

Shinya was inordinately pleased with himself and proud.  He’d talked himself through the insertion of the plug and then carefully pulled up the tight black leather pants that were to be part of his stage constume.  Grateful that the dial for the toy was small enough it wouldn’t make a suspicious bulge in the tight pants.  He’d even gone commando, something he’d never done before and he to admit the feel as the soft leather warmed up and conformed to his flesh was nice.  Real nice, and he was rather proud of how prominent his assets were displayed.  He’d ripped off the bottom of his shirt so his crotch wouldn’t be obscured and left to find Die.  He found him in conversation with Karaou, good.  He placed the little gift-wrapped present with Die’s name on top of his guitar and slipped away, pretending he hadn’t placed it there. 

Die was surprised to find a tiny gift-wrapped box sitting on his guitar.  The venue was locked down at the moment so it couldn’t have been from a fan.  Quickly opening it, he found the package of batteries he’d thrown at Shinya, as well as 4 others.  Tucked into the bottom of the box a tiny note.  “ _I miss the way you touch me gently, just the way I like”_.  Die snorted, the minx had stomped all over his declaration of love and had totally… ugh!  The way Shinya had acted the last few days had turned something truly beautiful into something…. Not so beautiful, because obviously it was one sided.  He threw the box into his bag and went back to work.  Shinya had obviously left him the note, but he was skittish.  He was always talking to someone or busy doing to something so Die avoided him. 

After lunch, another note. Taped to his water bottle.  “ _I miss your whispers of encouragement, and praise. Pushing me, soothing me, pulling me in”_.  Only Shinya could have written it, because he was a loud man.  And yet, still he expected Shinya to approach him and he didn’t.  He almost acted like he hadn’t left him those notes or his last 4 batteries, which had to be dead by now anyway unless he’d gotten his own, which he doubted Shinya had. 

30 minutes till curtain as they sat there getting ready to go on, Shinya had come up to him with a sad smile and stuck a note in his pocket before walking away.  Die ground his teeth but refused to read it, he didn’t need this shit right before they were about to go on stage.  Kyo got into his face. “Read it. Now.”  Shocked, Die did as he was told.  It wasn’t wise to set Kyo off right before a live --  you could get your ass kicked as he started ramping up and channeling all that pent up rage. 

“ _I’m wearing the plug you gave me because I miss feeling full. Tonight while I’m playing, I’ll imagine that it’s you inside me, filling me up so full my chest aches, making me burn.  I’ll be whispering to myself as I play.  But it will be your voice in my head, pushing me harder to give my best, talking me through it to the other side.  And I will, I’ll push myself until it hurts, because you know I like the ache.  Need it. Crave it.  But even now, filled with the toy, I feel empty without you.  I need to be filled to the brim. So Full. So Hot. Your Velvet-coated steel pushing, pulling, burning, kissing, licking me so deep deep inside. Die.  Die.  Die.  Your name falls from my lips with each breath and yet I don’t know what to say.  I’ve been so empty before you, so empty without you now, that I don’t know what to do or say or think anymore.  I just know I need you, and I’ve hurt you and I ….  I don’t need any batteries because YOU are my batteries.  You are the thing that gives my life that special zing, that pleasure I can’t do without.  My addiction, my need.  You, your words, your touch, your love makes my head spin and skin tingle and heart flip. If I’d ever been in love before and knew what it felt like, I would have said it to you.  I didn’t want to make you feel like I was rejecting you, but I’m still very confused by the way you make me feel, and I’ve never been in love before.  I miss the real thing.  I need the real thing.  I need you. And I can’t stand the thought of you never touching me, or whispering to me or being there for me again.  I’m going to come to you tonight after the show, filled with the toy you gave me.  And if you don’t want me any more than take it back, leave me empty and wanting, and I’ll understand because it’s what I deserve.  But if you can forgive me, then take me, fill me, claim me.  Seal the hole in my heart with your love, so I never feel empty again.  And never let me go.”_

His eyes stung, and his cock swelled against his will.  He’d had no idea he’d had such a profound effect on Shinya, no idea he’d never been in love.  He just thought that he’d been ashamed of having sex with Die.  That he’d lied about wanting to be his lover.  It had been okay that Shinya hadn’t exactly returned his declaration of love, he thought that at least Shinya would admit to liking him back.  This… he had no words for this.  He looked around and caught Shinya’s gaze.  His eyes were blood shot as if he’d been crying, his gaze full of need and sorrow and fear and lust. He watched as Shinya blushed but didn’t break his gaze, even as he stalked toward him to stand in front of him.  He let his gaze wander down, to where the soft leather cupped Shinya’s shaft.  Already ¾ erect, he suspected from both the toy and the energy of the coming live.  He stepped closer and cupped Shinya, warming the leather and molding it to Shinya’s shaft. The whole word would know just exactly how hard Shinya was. Shinya shuddered against his hand.

Die leaned forward and whispered into Shinya’s ear, as his fingers reached up gently stroking Shinya’s throat as he spoke.  “You won’t have to speak.  I’ll fill your mouth with my cock, stretching your lips tight around my shaft.  Stretching your jaw until it aches, but it will get better. You’ll push through the pain, because you know it’ll get better.  You’ll relax and then I’ll push deeper, deeper until my heat brushes the back of your throat.  Advancing and retreating until you swallow me whole Until I’m stretching your throat as full as the toy in your ass, and you swallow tightly against me.  So hot. So full. So sore.  But oh so good. My cock so deep, until it’s hard to breathe and all you can smell or taste or feel is me.  And when I cum, you’re going to swallow me down aren’t you?  You’ll want to by then.  You’ll need it.  Shall I tie your wrists so you can’t touch yourself?  So all you can feel is me? Whisper to yourself what you think I’ll say to you as you suck my cock.  Whisper what you want me to do you after you’ve finished swallowing my cum.”  By the time he was done, both of them were panting and Shinya was fully erect, thick and prominent behind the leather that had molded itself to his heated flesh. And then it was time to go onstage and the show started.

Shinya pushed himself hard, Die’s whispers ringing in his head and the energy in the crowd making him spontaneously orgasm by the third song.  They’d all rushed back stage for water as they rested for the encore when a sweaty body plastered itself to his back.  A husky voice whispered in his ear. “Don’t cum again, or I’ll take your toys away.  I’ll leave you empty and wanting all night and forbid you from touching yourself.”  Then Die was gone and it was time to go back out on stage, but his words had had a profound effect.  He was rock-hard again, his body clenching tightly, deliciously, almost painfully around the toy as if afraid Die really would steal it and refuse to give it back.  He whined at the thought of Die leaving him empty, refusing to let him touch himself while Die whispered to him, teased him, licked him.  God… he _wanted_ it, but he didn’t.  Wanted to be filled but wanted to _earn_ it.  The thoughts made him pant and by the time the show was over it was all he do not cum jus from the shift of the toy inside him when he stood up. The frantic movements of his body while he played the drums making the toy shift and move in pleasurable ways that made it really hard not to disappoint Die.  His cock was so hard he felt like he could play his drums with it.  As soon as they were released he’d bolted for the break room eager to get back to the hotel.  Kyo came in and tossed a set of keys at Die and then proceeded to attack Karou, pinning the guitarist and devouring his mouth like a starved man.  Shinya stared at them in shock. They …. Looked kind of hot.  And Kyo was devouring Karou with as much need as Shinya was feeling right now.  A warm arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him out of the room and he blinked up at Die.  Die said nothing but only quickly ushered them out the back and to one of the staff cars, grateful that Kyo had seen this coming and gave them a way to get away quick.  Though it was rather shocking to see him attack Karou like that. He’d always suspected there was something going on between them, but they’d always kept it on the down low. 

Die broke a few speeding records as he took them back to the hotel, confident that the band would pack up his guitars and bring him his stuff later.  He ushered Shinya straight toward his room and directly into the bathroom where he began to strip them of their sweaty stage outfits.  “Did you cum again?”  Die asked softly.  Shinya shook his head, unable to speak afraid if he said anything at all he’d cum.  Die cut the water on in the shower and adjusted the temperature pulling Shinya inside with him.  The hot kiss of the shower on his shaft was his undoing he came all over Die’s stomach with a soft cry.  “I’m sorry.”  He whispered, ashamed. 

Die gently washed him, guitar calloused hands slipping and sliding over his heated skin.  Washing the sweat from their bodies. He’d even washed their hair.  Die shut off the water and kissed him sweetly. “Time to keep my promises, are you ready baby?”  Shinya’s breath sped up, his mind playing over everything Die said he would do to him tonight.  Die led him to his bed once again, and had him sit against the headboard.  Straddling him, Die knelt up on his knees, his long legs placing his cock right at mouth level.  He brushed the flushed head against Shinya’s lips.  “Open your mouth baby, no tongue just yet.  Feel how soft and hot I am against your lips?  Open wider, baby no teeth.  Lap up that drop from the slit, don’t let it escape. That’s good, tastes good doesn’t it?  Salty and rich.  Just for you.” Shinya’s eyes hooded as he gave himself over to the cadence of Die’s voice, the gentle caress of his fingers along his face and lips and lulled him down from his spiraling nerves.

“Keep your mouth open baby, real wide that’s it.  Explore me with your tongue as I tease your lips.”  Die pressed just barely inside, his thick shaft pushing and pulling at Shinya’s lips stretched tight around the head of his shaft.  What a glorious sight.  He knew this was going to be difficult for Shinya, especially as he had no experience sucking cock, but he also knew Shinya needed this as much as he did.  He whispered softly to him, encouraging him, enjoying him as Shinya’s tongue explored his head and fucked his mouth with little more than just the head.  Stretching his lips and teasing his tongue, not even minding the occasional scrape of teeth.  Die leaned down and palmed the tube of oral sex lube meant to numb the gag reflex.  “Keep your mouth open baby, I’m going to pull out.” He whispered.  He slathered his cock with the gel and then nudged inside again.  “This will make me nice and slick for you, easier to suck.  And it’s minty flavor will help you take more of me.  There, isn’t that better?  You’re already taking more.  Mmm.. good that right, work your tongue baby.  So so good.”  He whispered, one hand threading its way into Shinya’s hair so cushion his head from banging against the headboard later and so he could control Shinya’s retreat. He pressed deeper until he felt Shinya gag slightly then retreated.  “shhh… it’s okay baby, you’re going to take it all.  Just relax, a little at a time.  I’m going to press in and touch that place again, just sit there while you get used to the heat and pressure like we did with the toy and my cock.  This isn’t going to be easy but you can do you it and it will feel so good once get past it.” Die advanced once more, Shinya swallowing against him reflexively as he fought the urge to gag, Die whispering encouragement and just staying there the way he had before.  Eventually the sensation stopped and Die retreated, gently fucking his mouth right up to that point until reaching that point started to feel good and a hum escaped him from the heavy shaft invading his mouth. 

Die pressed deeper, once more triggering a retch but quickly retreating, only to return slowly with more encouragement and resting gentle pressure and heat until he stopped swallowing once again and retreated.  The deeper penetrations making it hard breathe when he would just sit there for 30 seconds but every long withdrawal and slow advance felt better and better and when the head of his cock finally pressed against the back of his throat it actually felt good.  Felt nice.  He started to bob his head toward it, seeking the praise garnered when Die’s cock bumped the back of his throat a little more forcefully.  “You’re doing beautifully baby, better than I expected.  But there’s a few more inches to go, the most difficult ones but I’ll be here talking you through it, you just have to relax and breathe when I tell you to okay?  Don’t get frightened, I’m not going to hurt you, I’m going to stretch you and fill you and possess you deeply aren’t I?”  Shinya relaxed at those words, the feel of that velvet-coated steel bumping the back of throat feeling good and slightly sore at the same time.  His jaw ached something terrible it having taken quite some time to work past his gag reflex. 

“Okay baby, deep breath baby and let it out.  Another.  Now breathe shallow, stay relaxed…  “  Die advanced his prick gently until it pressed against the back of Shinya’s throat, gently he pressed  harder, tilting Shinya’s head forward as he felt the head of his cock slide down against the back of his throat, nudging the top of his airway.  Whispering encouragement as he retreated for Shinya to breathe, keeping his head forward and gently forcing his cock deeper, working and stretching that guardian ring of muscles just past has his tongue until at last he was able to force the head of his cock past it, holding there for 10 seconds letting the burn set in before he retreated.  Gently breaching and retreating until he felt Shinya’s throat finally relax submitting to his invasion.  All the while whispering to him, even as he brushed the tears away that leaked from Shinya’s eyes.  Shinya could have a pulled away, pushed him off, but he didn’t.  His hands remained gripped tight to Die’s hips and accepted what Die was talking him through.  

“Okay baby, I’m going to really start fucking your mouth now, faster. Deeper.  You feel so good baby, you’re doing so good and I’m so proud of you.  No one has ever swallowed me so deep, just remember to breathe when I retreat okay?”  And then Die started up a real rhythm, soft grunts falling from his lips each time the head of his pushed past the back of Shinya’s throat and into that tightly muscled passage, as hot and tight as his ass.  Shinya made small sounds around his cock and he could see Shinya’s cock weeping, testament to how this was affecting him, just as he knew it would.  Too soon he could feel his release coiling and pulled back, resting just the head of cock inside Shinya’s mouth as the drummer drew in ragged breaths through his nose.  Die fisted himself so he couldn’t go deeply and concentrated on shallow fast thrusts that soon had him close.  “I’m cumming baby, you did that for me.  This spent passion is all because of you, _for you_.  Are ready for it?  Here I come, love.  Swallow me down, even when it burns.”  With a soft cry he felt himself splash across Shinya’s tongue, felt him wince and whimper as he swallowed the salty offering past his abused throat.  Pulling out he leaned down and captured Shinya in heated kiss, tasting his own passion on Shinya’s tongue.  Then he pulled him close and rocked him. “You did so good baby, so amazing.  Do you know how proud I am of you for trusting me so much?  Was it as good as I said it would be?”  Die whispered as Shinya trembled in his arm.  Shinya nodded, unable to speak.  “Next time it will feel even better because you’ll know what to expect and you can anticipate past the unpleasant parts until you get to the good because you _know_ there’s going to be good. Lie down and rest for a bit baby, I’m not done with you yet.” 

Shinya let Die lay him down on the bed, and then got up, soon returning with an ice-bucket of hot water that held the anal gel and Shinya’s eyes lit up with promise.   He felt Die reach beneath him and gently remove the toy, his body arching as it was slowly removed, Die teasing him with it a moment before it was completely gone.  Shinya trailed his fingers along Die arm and reached up to thread a hand into his hair.  Every emotion in his gaze.  Die hadn’t even waited until after the show to claim him, he’d taken him with words and promised actions and later with fulfilled promises.  The burning pain and the sense of helplessness as his airway was impeded by Die’s cock had been scary, but then Die’s words and his gentle touch had calmed him.  Made him remember how much he’d wanted to earn his place once again in Die’s heart and in his bed. He figured that Die must have been hurt and felt helpless too when he thought Shinya had rejected him, so it was only right.  Beyond the pain had been exactly what Die had promised him, he’d felt stretched and filled and possessed.  His helpless submission and Die’s careful command of his body and ability to breathe had solidified Die’s promise to take care of him in a tangible way that couldn’t be cemented more clearly.  The method was uniquely Die and exactly what Shinya had needed. 

Shinya shifted on the bed, waiting to be filled once again, cock straining, hips rocking restlessly.  Die shook his head.  Whispering against his lips.  “You came when I told you not to, so you have to wait a little while longer.  Not all night, because I know you didn’t mean to, but you still have to wait until I decide to fill you.”  Shinya whined and rocked his hips, his lips pouting.  “But you were so good taking my cock like I said you would that I’m going to reward you.  I’m going to explore every inch of your body with just my mouth.  Mmhmm… I’m suck your cock just as deeply as you sucked mine.  Way down into my throat until I’m hoarse for you.  Until you cum salty and hot down my throat that I abused for you. But I’m not going to stop there, oh no.  I’m going to suckle on your balls and roll them around on my tongue, I’m going to lick and tease and tongue your ass until you’re weeping for me fill you up.  Oh and then I’m going to lean up and sheathe myself to the hilt inside your beautiful body.  I’m going to fuck you, take you, claim you and lay my seed so deep inside you that it takes root.  I’m going to hold you tightly to me so I don’t slip out and then I’m going to feed you your spent seed.  I’m going to whisper to you and touch you and kiss you, until I swell full inside you again and again.  I’m not going to leave your body until you’re unconscious from pleasure.  And then I’m going to fall asleep, still sheathed within you.” 

Shinya gasped and pulled Die down into a kiss.  Such a soft burning whisper made it past his lips, so that if Die hadn’t been quite so close, he might not have heard what Shinya said. “Yes, please.  Oh please do that. Do anything. Do everything.”  Die nodded and began his exploration.  By the time Shinya passed out, Die himself was a step away from a coma himself.  God, his cock ached from friction and far too much stimulation. He balls felt like shriveled up raisins having been milked of every drop of sexual fluid he was capable of producing.  But he’d kept his promise.  He hadn’t gotten dislodged from Shinya’s body, not once, not even when they’d shifted positions.  Shinya on bottom, on their sides, Shinya on top and back to their sides again.  He knew if he hurt like hell now, Shinya would probably not be able to walk tomorrow.  He was going to feel Die for days, even if he didn’t make love to him tomorrow.  He was still going to feel the aches that testified to Die’s presence, the memory branded into his flesh.  He drifted to sleep just minutes after Shinya did. 

Shinya drifted into consciousness, sore from head to toe. His throat felt raw and his ass throbbed.  Reaching behind himself he touched his anus, smiling when he felt Die’s flaccid cock sitting just inside his entrance.  The flesh swollen and tender even hours later.  He gently played his fingers along Die’s shaft, the little bit he could reach from this angle, as his brain replayed the way Die’s mouth had felt on his cock, the way it felt when Die’s tight throat had swallowed against him, a shock of pleasure he’d been unexpected to receive.  It made him wonder fleetingly if it would feel as good to push his cock inside Die’s ass as it had felt to push it down his throat.  The thought shamed him, but he hummed in interest anyway. Warm fingers joined his own to play at his entrance. He lifted his lips for a kiss and was rewarded.  They spent quiet minutes kissing and stroking as Die’s cock slowly filled.  Shinya whimpering as he shifted to press the swollen flesh deeper inside his tender body.  It hurt less to drive him deeper than for him to try to retreat. 

Die broke the kiss.  “What were you thinking about as you were stroking me, before you knew I was awake?”  Shinya blushed and moved his hand away, leaving the soothing of his tender bits to Die’s longer arms and capable fingers.  “I was thinking how good your mouth felt on my cock.  How good your throat felt gripping me tight as you swallowed.  I thought how good it must have felt to have my throat gripping you too.  And then I thought….”  Shinya stopped, uncertain if he should voice his thought.  A whisper of a secret desire.  “What baby, what did you think?”  Die asked, that knowing look there once again.  Shinya stalled and trailed his fingers down Die’s back, toying lightly with the crease, that ticklish spot right at the top that he liked to play with so much on himself.  “I thought, I wondered what it would feel like to press my cock inside you.  To fuck you and fill you and stretch you so nicely, the way you did to me.” 

Die smiled.  “And would you want to use toys on me?  Maybe even press a toy inside me alongside your shaft so I feel as full you do, overfilled and stretched so taut my breath catches? Would you seat a fat plug and turn on the vibrations and whisper to me as you fuck my mouth, keeping me full in both places at the same time? “.  Shinya only nodded, each new suggestion, nothing he would have thought of, but once mentioned he greatly desired. “What else, what else do you want?”  Shinya squirmed, his eyes hooded once again as Die’s whispers took him to paradise.  “You’ll tie my wrists and prevent me from touching myself. Maybe blindfold me too.  You’ll buy a new toy but you won’t let me see it.  You’ll make me suck it, make me take it all until I’m squirming.  Then you’ll lead me down and place my mouth on your cock and whisper to me how you want me to suck it, how fast and hard you want me to fuck myself on your cock while you press the toy inside my ass.  Pressing it deep, fucking me hard and fast with it while you urge me to keep pace with you.  Both of us cumming together.  Maybe… maybe someday you’ll blindfold me again and whisper to me.  You’ll leave my hands free but forbid me to speak or touch myself.  Someone else will be there.  Maybe a stranger, maybe a friend, I won’t know.  Don’t want to know.  You’ll whisper to me to tell me to suck him, and I’ll do it.  I’ll open my throat and let him fuck my mouth for you as you finger my ass.  But you won’t let him cum in my mouth, that treat only comes from you.  Will you let him fuck me?  I think you will. You’ll sit me in his lap and tell me to ride him.  He’ll be smaller than you, no bigger than my toy, so it will feel good but it won’t give me the fullness I need.  It won’t be you, but you’ll be whispering to me, so I remember that no one can ever replace you.”

Shinya’s fingers had long since delved downward, his fingers lightly stroking Die’s entrance as they whispered their fantasies to each other.  His own fantasy had him close to orgasm with little more than mental stimulation.  “Tell me all of it, baby.  Finish the scene”.  Die whispered, so awed by the detail and submission that Shinya was unconsciously offering that he wanted to see if Shinya was going say what he thought he was going to say. “You’ll make me kneel up and pull off of him and you’ll sheathe him in a condom because only you can plant your seed inside me. You’ll say that loud enough, so he knows too, that I belong to you and only you.  Then you’ll whisper for me to keep going, to take my pleasure but you’ll forbid me from cumming.  You’ll even let him stroke my cock, doing his best to make me disobey, but I won’t.  Because he can’t give me what I need.  And then you’ll prove it.  Oh yes.  You tell me to seat myself fully and lean forward, and your fingers will tease me where he’s sheathed inside me.  Soothing and teasing my entrance.  You’ll tell me softly what you’re going to do, laying it out in detail and I’ll be scared but you’ll talk me through it.  Like you always do, soothing my fear and bringing me through overwhelming sensation to shattering pleasure.  You’ve done it before.  You’ll press one finger maybe two up inside me beside his cock, and I’ll moan at the increased stretch, at your heat there alongside his. Different.  Making me notice the contrast.”

“You’ll tell me that you’re going to put your cock inside me too, right alongside his and I’ll want to protest.  ‘ _Too full’_   I’ll whisper, afraid.  I can’t do it, it’ll be too much I’ll be ripped apart because you’re so big.  But you’ll stroke me gently, whispering to me, waiting for me to settle as you tell me that you know I can.  That it will hurt, oh god it will hurt so bad and you know it,  but I can get through it, you never lie to me about the pain or the pleasure.  Because you want me to be able to feel you, feel him.  Feel how different your heat is from his, your texture from his.  The pain and the too much fullness is all mine, you want me to spill over, overflow with what you’ve filled me with.  With love and acceptance and pleasure and pain.  You’ll want me to feel him fill his condom, the barrier withholding his kiss even as you fill me up so full that some of you leaks out.  And I’ll weep as you both move inside me.  Pushing, pulling, filling me, stretching me, oh it hurts it hurts so bad but it feels good.  Faster and faster until I’m screaming your name and yours alone as I shatter into a thousand pieces.  I’ll collapse against you as you hold me tight to your chest, keeping yourself sheathed as you pull me off of him.  You’ll settle me gently on my hands and knees and pin my wrists with yours and you’ll start pounding into me, hard and fast and deep.  Relentless, no time to deflate.  Easier because I’ve been stretched, and you won’t stop, no, not even when I cum again, you’ll keep going until you fill me once more.  And then you’ll lay me down and gently clean me off and remove the blind fold and you’ll tell me that you love me and I’ll tell you that I belong to you.  I always have.” 

Shinya opened his eyes panting to see such a look of wonder on Die’s face that he didn’t know what to say.  Die tenderly pulled out, having cum just from listening to Shinya’s fantasy, no friction involved.  “Someday, love, I’ll bring that fantasy to life.  But it will be a surprise, I’ll wait long enough for you to forget so that when it comes you’ll live the memory and the reality at the same time. “  Shinya nodded a soft smile on his face as he realized that that meant they’d have to be together long enough for the fantasy to fade from memory.  Reluctantly they got out of bed, both groaning and cursing as their bodies made their protest known regarding long marathon sex sessions.  Shinya’s especially because he’d been practically a virgin.  Shinya had an awkward gait as they carried their bags from the hotel toward the bus, the sleepy satiety of a cat on his face.  He quirked an eyebrow as he saw Kyo wincing and ambling toward the bus with a similar gait.  As soon as the bus started rolling, Kyo got up and tapped Shinya on the shoulder.  “come with me” he grunted.  Shinya followed him, actually glad to stand since it fucking hurt to sit down.  Kyo pulled him into the bathroom and locked the door.  He grinned at Shinya. It made Shinya scared.  “Ah, relax, I’m here to help.”  He reached into the cabinet and pulled his toiletry bag, each of them having their own.  He fished out two objects and handed them to Shinya.  “The tablet is a pain pill, it will help with the pain and make you not give a fuck you just got gloriously fucked unconscious last night.  The other thing is a suppository, it goes in your very sore ass but it will also help with the pain and help you heal so you can get back to fucking like rabbits.” He noticed that Kyo dry swallowed a tablet and palmed a suppository himself.  Kyo leaned against the counter and sighed.  “God my whole body hurts, but it’s so fucking worth it. Never forget that. Now, go make Die happy before I have to kick your ass, you bald-balls buffoon.” Kyo gave him a hard slap on the shoulder and left the bathroom.  Well, that was TMI.  He wondered who Kyo had been with? Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he took the medicine and painfully inserted the suppository. A little worried at the spots of blood that showed up on the toilet paper when he went to wipe himself. 

An hour later and the pain was so much better, though he wasn’t used to strong medicine and the pill made him loopy.  Kyo didn’t seem phased by it, but his limp was gone.  He piled off the bus for the convenience store and came back with snacks.  He dropped a container of baby wipes into Shinya’s lap as he passed.  Shinya smiled in thanks at him, the cool wipes would feel so much better than the cheap paper on the bus.  Die came to sit by him and looked at him worriedly.  “Anything I should know?”  looking at the wipes.  Shinya smiled at him and giggled.  “Kyo and I both got fucked real hard last night, so we’re both sore.  He gave me pain medicine and now he even gave me nice cool wipes ‘cause that tissue hurts my ass. And he didn’t even seem upset that you fucked me either.  He just said for me to make you happy.  Isn’t he _nice_?”  Die chuckled at Shinya’s stoned rambling but he caught Kyo’s gaze and mouthed a ‘thank you’.  Kyo just nodded. 

It was a long ride home, but eventually everyone made to their apartments safely, Die taking Shinya to his place since he was still under the influence.  They cuddled together and gently traced each other’s skin, though they were both too exhausted and sore for sex.  They continued to whisper fantasies to each other, exploring each other.  2 weeks later they moved in together, something that didn’t surprise anyone in the band. 


End file.
